Almost made it all day

It's been three weeks and I almost made it all day. Till now. I happen to be posting on someone's wall on Facebook and noticed a picture of Kathleen on the top of the page. So I had to click on it, and look through the photo album which was from her last birthday party which was only a month ago. And seeing her smile, I just couldn't hold it together anymore. I had my normal moments today where I would catch myself, but nothing like this. I miss her. I miss her smile. I miss her laughter. I miss everything.
One day this is going to be easier. But I guess right now is my time today to break down. Chris doesn't notice, but that is ok. He doesn't need to comfort me every time. He has his moments too and I can't comfort him every time. I think that is the hardest thing...to not automatically crawl into his arms. I have to really feel this pain and heartache on my own every once in awhile.

Other than that, it's been a pretty good day. Went and did pedicures with Chris and Jill, which we were some what dreading since we always would take Kathleen. So we told one of the girls right away but she doesn't understand me, she just smiles and tells me to put my feet in the water. I then wait for another girl who I think speaks better English, but again, she doesn't really get the full meaning of what I am telling her. So finally the manager shows up and I tell her, and she breaks down and tells the other ladies in Vietemesse and they all cry and give us hugs.

Now I am exhausted. Need sleep. Need to cry. Here we go again.