Memories

Yesterday I was driving to get us some dinner and was flooded with random memories. This happens all the time. Sometimes they pass through my head like clouds on a breezy day while other times that stay with me like a dream where I can almost remember every scene, every word, every thought.
Yesterday it was the dream....driving down Ina road 4 years ago just as Chris and I were starting to date and I knew her mother took them on the bus to go to day care in the morning. So as I am driving at 6 am to head to Phoenix for a work thing, I see a woman with this tiny little girl standing at the bus stop in 30 degree weather thinking to myself I think that was them. Should I stop? Should I offer them a ride? But i didn't have a car seat and with traffic I couldn't turn around, but sure enough it was them. She was so tiny. So happy. I could tell in just the few seconds I had to see her that she was just a bright ball of energy.
Then it moved to the first time I really met her. It was at Chris' house. His mom was sewing dresses together for the neices for Grnadpa's wedding. All I heard was this laugh. This sweet giggle from around the corner. She was so shy back then, it is funny to think about her being that way since she changed so much over the years. Finally Chris got her to come out and she just gave me the worlds most brillant smile. I thought to myself that that smile would be the end of me. And it was. But in the best possible way.
She love me reading to her. She would pick up all of her toys at night and then grab her Cars book, the one that was so used that all of the pages were curled and the seam was bent right at the beginning of the Cars story which was in the middle of the Disney combilation book. She would sit on my leg, pull a blanket over us (it could be summer, she didn't care), cuddle up with me and read along with the story. Not that she knew how to read, but because she knew the story by heart. "McQueen was a race car, he was shiny and fast, he wanted one thing...to win the big race".... Chris and I actually can recite the whole story from memory too. But it's a little too painful. But I miss reading to her. I read to Alex and Izzy now and I still tear up. I probably will for years to come. But it's a beautiful memory that I hope never fades.
Alex and Izzy are smiling so much more now. Giggling and laughing just to do it which warms our hearts more than words can express. They look at me and Chris like the know who we are and I love that feeling. They know we will always be there for them. And protect them and love them unconditionaly. Or at least they will know all of that because we will remind them every day. Life is too short and we will cherish every moment we have with them.
Alex is waking...must go get me some baby love. Happy New Year!! Wonder what 2012 will bring!!