Plain and simple. Holy hell this sucks. I am feeling better, but still have my moments. I have a much shorter fuse than I used to and unfortunately I take it out on Chris. So we both decided that we need to have a date night. We need to "rip the bandaid off" and leave the girls alone with someone. They are five months old and have never been without one of us except for two seperate hour trips to Target which I had to go grocery shopping and Chris was on twelves. But those were so extreme that I never had the opportunity to let it sink in that I wasn't there and neither was he. But for the health and longevity of our marriage, we need a date night. ASAP. So I asked a great friend of ours if she was willing to watch them with one of her teacher friends. Hopefully this will all work out.
NOw to the topic at hand. Holy shit, breastfeeding is a pain in my ass. Maybe it is because I have twins. Maybe it is because I have HUGE boobs. Maybe it's a combinations of these two things. Maybe it has nothing to do with either of them. Who the hell knows! All I do know is, breastfeeding is a pain in my ass!! So here it is from the beginning. The girls were born on time for being twins, but once they were out they were considered premies since they were born at 36 weeks. At 37 weeks, babies "suck" reflex matures. In essence, that means I got the short end of the stick. So I learned how to pump, I had to try and nurse one of them at every feeding and I also had the fun opportunity to use these "fun" nipple shields every time I nursed since the girls couldn't latch on by themselves. So every time I had a screaming hungry baby, I had to take the time to put on one of these silly shields, keep it on while I got the baby in place, usually have to set the baby down again to replace said silly shield, get the baby again, etc...you could see where that almost sent me over the edge. Then there is the fun pumping. Before I knew better, I held the cones in place. When you sleep only an hour at a time in the beginning, holding cones on your breasts is relatively impossible. I had the wonderful experience of losing suction once after falling asleep and sprayed myself in the face with milk. Another time, again after falling asleep, I lost suction and all of the milk I had pumped leaked all over my lap. These are good times.
So then one wonderful day, the girls figured out how to latch on themselves!!! Halleluhuh!!!! But then of course we all got lazy and I didn't pay attention, so they bruised the hell out of both my nipples. So badly that I had to stop nursing them for a few weeks to let them heal. So during this time, I was hooked to the machine 24/7 but thankfully by now i had learned of the best invention ever. The Nursing Bra. It's really a stretchy tube top with holes cut out for your nipples and a zipper in the front and you put the cones thru the holes and you no longer have to hold the damn cones while you pump!! So amazing.
But on that note, I have to go to bed. I am exhausted and I just cant type any more. I will continue my bitch fest about nursing soon....