So why in the world would mother nature have mothers be sleep deprived, dealing with nursing babies and milk supplies, dirty diapers, screaming babies ad then throw on the chance of post partum depression sprikled on top?? My husband is still on 12 hour shifts so I get everytime one of the girls cries for their pacifers or when they wake up for their night feeding, it's all me. So my sleep is never good sleep. It's broken and in chunks and not restfull. So why in the world would mother nature then give me the possiiltiy of having PPD??? Yesterday I was holding Izzy, trying to rock her to sleep (which is rare, but I think she is fighting a cold) and I was just crying. Partially from pure exhaustion and partially because I just wanted sleep and needed her to calm down.
Thankfully I have a helper today and after I eat some lunch and finish this ranting, I am headed for a long restful nap- I hope.
I hate that some days I can start out with so much energy and I cant wait to spend the day with my girls, but then I will have these moment where I am just so tired and so exhausted and I question what the hell I am doing with my life. Dont get me wrong- I loooooooove my girls and I love being a mom. But this is hard. And anyone that says differently...well they are lucky. But so am I. I just have to take a moment, take a deep breath and remind myself of that.